Author: Tim Buckley
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Holding Two Needs & Nourishing the One You Feed
Reflecting on the terror and trauma at loose in the world, the impact of that suffering visited me this morning. Sadness, anger, helplessness, some guilt, and deep resentment became a lump the size of a grapefruit in my chest. My need for the basics – safe shelter, healthy food and water – are met for…
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New Year, Same Resolve
There is a squeaky door in my character. I’ve been oiling it with various lubricants for decades, and some days it seems that nothing has changed. Here’s the rub. When I’m in the right mood, when I’m feeling most charitable, kind or loving, the squeak goes away. But I’m not in that place most of…
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How Would You Apply NVC in This Situation?
We offer you this story and the following questions as an exercise for applying your NVC lens to an event that actually happened. The Situation Imagine you’re at a conference and you notice you’re the only Black person, other than one invited panel member on stage. When it comes time for Q & A, after…
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Love in a Time of Despair
I read a thoughtful, evocative essay by Maria Popova today, her weekly blog post called The Marginalian There are a couple of lines in the essay that grabbed me. Here’s one: “The transmutation of despair into love is what we call meaning.” She was echoing the sentiment of Oliver Sachs who wrote on the subject…
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What is the Benefit of Learning to Make Observations Instead of Value Judgments?
In Nonviolent Communication (NVC), the first skill set involves the ability to distinguish between a value judgment and an observation. We make value judgments all the time: whether to scramble my eggs this morning or whether to fry them, whether to take I-5 to Eugene or 99 West, whether to watch TV or go to…