Holding Two Needs & Nourishing the One You Feed

Reflecting on the terror and trauma at loose in the world, the impact of that suffering visited me this morning. Sadness, anger, helplessness, some guilt, and deep resentment became a lump the size of a grapefruit in my chest. My need for the basics – safe shelter, healthy food and water – are met for me, but they aren’t for billions of my sisters and brothers.

Empathizing with those losses day after day drains me emotionally. Eventually depleted, I can become an emotional husk, withdrawn, listless and dry.

Balancing the loss and dread that comes in on the soles of daily life, I schedule regular fill ups. Doing so is not a disregard for the loss, so much as a way to float to the surface with awareness of what’s flying around me and what’s anchored in the muck. Some call it perspective-taking. Those whose life situation is dire and hand-to-mouth may not have the privilege of that perspective. Knowing that increases my compassion, and that’s a motivation, if not a fuel.

Being more outgoing in nature, I also get fueled by engaging in social justice activity with others. I can add to the tanks of others while filling my own.
Other tank filling activity includes walking and bicycling outdoors, enriching conversation, yoga, reading, mindful contemplation, music, dreaming and creative writing.

Even if a well maintained self care strategy hasn’t got my tank filled continually, my sense of loss is balanced with one of satisfaction, sometimes even joy.